So True-- Courtesy another blog

30 Things Every Single Woman Should Do Before Settling Down


July 30, 2010 by coloradobee


I’m so glad I found my friend Jen’s blog today. We are a lot alike in a lot of ways and I can relate to the things she writes about including her most recent postTrying On a Job, which touches on an idea I once had to get famous. I often come up with ways to get famous but never follow through. My idea was to shadow people in all types of careers in my quest to find a career path suitable for me, and then write about my experiences and thoughts about certain occupations. Now reflecting, I should look back into this idea; along with all possible career ideas, I gave this idea up too quickly.


Shoutout to Jen’s Before You Settle Down post, borrowed from an article on MSN. I really liked the idea for the article but decided to make my very own Bucket List for Single Women, with the help of my single and fabulous friend Alex (I have to admit she came up with most of these). What do you agree with or disagree with or think should be added to list list?
1. Make a lifetime and/or yearly bucket list.
2. Go to a movie alone.
3. Give a guy your phone number without him asking for it first.
4. Do your own taxes.
5. Live alone.
6. Train for (and finish) a huge physical test like a half-marathon (by yourself or with girl friends).
7. Go to a topless beach and tan topless.
8. Quit a job. It feels so good to take a job and shove it (and not be affecting anyone else’s livelihood).
9. Travel to an unknown city and be a tourist by yourself.
10. Get drunk with your parent/s.
11. Subscribe to a grown-up magazine (Newsweek, Time) or the newspaper.
12. Go on a date with someone who actually makes you nervous.
13. Take a road trip somewhere with your girlfriends.
14. Hold a newborn baby.
15. Be a good wingwoman. It’s not always about you.
16. Chill with your widowed and single grandma. She knows “alone”!
17. Volunteer more.
18. Do at least one Valentine’s Day alone.
19. Attend a wedding (or 15) alone.
20. Read. More.
21. Date someone much younger or much older than you.
22. Sit at a bar by yourself and get a drink.
23. Buy something frivolous and expensive that you LOVE wearing.
24. Buy something big on your own (car, house, condo, art, etc.).
25. If you can stay driven, throw yourself into something time-consuming, like learning a foreign language.
26. Make a list of all your faults.
27. Cook for yourself more.
28. Get some hobbies that you do ALONE.
29. Eat in a restaurant alone.
30. Get your finances in order.

*** The following are risky and are simply other ideas that are optional to add to your new Bucket List***

31. If you’re down with promiscuity, have sex with a guy just for the fun of it (and totally based off his looks) and leave before he wakes up.
32. If you’ve ever thought about it, move to another city… alone.

Dating gets more complicated as you get older

Puppy love

Remember your first love? For some it was primary school, love-letters being exchanged via friends, hardly looking at each other and giggling when you see your “love” in the passage at school.

First love

Then came high school, you blushed and held hands and danced close when you heard slow song playing. You were devastated when you find him/her kissing someone else, played deafening music and refused to come out of your room thinking that you would die.

Passionate love

Varsity or your years as a young professional was a jungle. You dated many people, fell in love quickly and out of love just as quick and moved on. What you wanted in a partner changed overnight and changed back the very next day. Your friends’ opinion was all important and you spent more time with them than with your partner.

Placid (aka true) Love

Then some people find “the one”. They settle down have kids and lead the picture perfect white picket fence lives.

But somehow you missed out on this…. You are still single and when invited to parties by married friends you start to feel out of place. After all you know nothing about diapers and milk and even worse about the tantrums toddlers have when the want something unobtainable. You invite a random person you met along to these couple parties and everyone asks when the 2 of you are “getting hitched”.”My word” you think “we just met at the office party last week!!!” and an awkward silence follows.

The pursuit of happiness and love

It gets tougher. As soon as you hit 30, your mom starts to panic. Your siblings are trying to set you up wit a date from church every week. You merrily go about your life. Stressing, working, making money. Gym needs some time (at 30 it not so easy to stay slim and trim). Social with the friends you have to catch up with etc. and the years roll by. You are perfectly happy and single. But then it happens. Your best friend, who swore never to get married, falls in love. And it is BAD. Being the good friend that you are you go for dinner and sleep over at their place and you hear them giggling and talking way into the early hours of the morning. And you are jealous, why can’t you meet someone like that?

No other options left you try out that blind date someone in your church wants you to meet, he turns out to be around 65 and cannot even read the menu on his own. No way are you doing that again so you muster up all your courage and ask the work colleague you’ve noticed before out on a date and they decline with some lame excuse. Starting to feel desperate you think: People find their matches on-line all the time right? So you try it. Several data bundles and lots of late nights further you abandon that idea decide to try events clubs with your best friend, you try new hobbies and even jump of some cliff as you are sure to meet cool people that way. Then you realise that if you were going to meet someone at a party or the tennis club it would have happened by now.

So what to do?? Do people really spend money on executive dating? That remains the question. The only way to know is if you try a professional matchmaker.www.click-dating.co.za/about.html

Genetic matchmaking

Was amazed when I read this. Unbelievable. Maybe this is the future. 

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/genetic-compatibility

However I firmly believe that perfect matches are not determined by genetics, but by a whole lot of things. Also I believe as you grow older and wiser your choice of partners change as well.

That is why professional matchmaking is a far better option than any other. It takes all factors into consideration. Personality, Background, Financial Status etc etc.

Rather view the services Click offers at www.Click-dating.co.za

Dating - Times have changed, no reason for you to not to change with it

So dating in this day and age and relationships are complicated. Here is a few bird's eye views on your options:

Dating challenges

So you're single. No problem with that, in fact it's quite pleasant to not have the obligations most relationships pose, or so you keep telling yourself. But then you go to a family wedding without a date, thinking that you are a liberated single professional person who does not need a partner by your side. Right! But then by the 7th family member asking you when it is your turn and where your partner is, you decide there and then that being single does not seem so great and liberating. You think of all your friends, brothers and sisters with fulfilling happy relationships and decide to give it a try. So you decide that you decide to take action and look for your perfect match, the so called "Soul mate" or "Perfect Match" everybody claims to have found.

Internet dating:

Scientific minds would possibly try to calculate the odds of meeting someone online and check out things like Pepper Schwartz's algorithm

(Read more:Online Dating Using Mathmatical Calculations | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_6736781_online-dating-using-mathmatical-calculations.html#ixzz11lpMBajt).

However anybody who ever tried internet dating would tell you that it does not work. Let’s be honest, how many couples you know found love on the internet?  So after joining three or so on-line dating sites you realize that you believe nothing anybody says to you. In truth your dream date could be a telephone operator in Siberia and claim to be the CEO of a mid-size company and do skydiving as a hobby in their profile and this you might only discover after spending several weeks anticipating the meeting in real life and chatting hours on line.

So, finding relationships on line – No go!

Speed-dating:

Not a good idea at all. I will go into this later but in the meantime you may read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. One can form an instant opinion in a few seconds, however if you are not an expert at human psychology you will most probably be fooled by the pleasant appearance of a person at first glance. The problem with speed dating comes in when you like them at first glance and they don’t like you as much and no numbers are exchanged. It could end up in several rounds of speed dating before you meet someone that you even go on a date with. You are a busy person right? No reason not to give it a try though....

Events clubs:

Great idea. To meet friends that is. There are a lot of people but in the end it is just like any other party and you have not been successful meeting people at parties hosted by friends so far? Just a thought. See this link for an opinion from the horses’ mouth

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/6-reasons-singles-events-are-a-bad-place-to-meet-someone-294259/.

This is not to say that all events are bad, however if you intend on meeting someone at these events, don’t put your heart on it. See it as Network opportunity

Professional dating agency / Matchmaker

It is a widely held belief that arranged marriages end up in lower divorce rate. This could be due to the religious and social pressures people in arranged marriages feel, however it could also be that the marriage partners chosen.  The biggest benefit is that there is a conscious attempt to match the two families as well as the bride and groom on the parameters of social status, financial strength, background, educational opportunities and similar lifestyle. This is a cool-headed decision that is thought to tremendously increase the likelihood of the marriage succeeding. 

Professional Matchmaking works on the same principle, with the difference that you still have the choice. You have an expert looking after your personal needs and requirements and who will help you engineer your relationships.

Visit www.click-dating.co.za to view such a service.