How to start dating again after a divorce or Break-up

So you are divorced...

Yes you and a lwhole bunch of other South Africans (See statistics http://www.statssa.gov.za/publications/statskeyfindings.asp?PPN=report-03-07-01&SCH=3703.) 

And you think this causes you to be an outcast and not “dating material”?

Yes.  I know because I’ve heard the following from divorcees:

• The only person I ever loved married someone else.
• I'm 45, never been married and the odds of my finding someone are zero.
• I'm 64 and divorced three times. Who would want me?
  
  

If any of the aforementioned has crossed your mind and you are using it as an excuse, know this - just because you don't know how to get a date doesn't mean that you can't. If you want to date, and if you want to meet someone special, you can learn how to do it! To further prove my point, every one of the above people who said these things eventually learned to date, and three out of five of them have already met someone and fallen in love. The other two will also find their partners if they keep working at it. Would you like to know how they did it? First, they changed their minds and stopped thinking it couldn't be done. Second, they took action.

Take Action:

Home Alone is a good name for a movie but it's not a good name for you if you want a social life. You can't sit in front of the TV and wait for the dating world to arrive. If you feel you are ready to date; if you have your life reasonably together; and, if you have taken time to feed your spirit after breaking up with someone, then it's time for you to get moving. Lots of dates are waiting to meet you.

Forget about the myth of REJECTION:

So many great people stop the flow of their dating life and accumulate more and more "proof" that they are not datable or lovable. The "proof," of course, is all in their imagination. When you gather this kind of false evidence, you either settle for someone you don't really want or don't go out at all because you anticipate rejection. Once you understand that you have the power over how you feel about yourself, no one can "reject" you. If someone indicates they don't want to date you, obviously, you don't want to go out with them. You want to be around people who appreciate you. And hey what if he does not ask for your number? His loss – plenty of fish in the sea and he was conceited anyway.

The more actions taken, the greater your SUCCESS will be:

If you are sincere about wanting to meet someone, you will get out often to different settings. You will be friendly, talk to people, reach out to others, and create a social life. You will have so much going on, you won't have time to feel rejected. Here are some reasons why I see matchmaker services as a good way to meet people:

• This is one of the best ways to meet someone who comes with reference recommendations as your matchmaker has screened all the candidates on the data basis.
• You can give a list of minimum requirements e.g no smokers or no extreme extroverts.
• Your matchmaker will help you through the process. If you are a shy person she will help you go on an “activity date” which does not require sitting over a table with nothing to say.
• You can eliminate making the same mistakes again and again by working with your matchmaker and keeping her informed about the things you might find off-putting about a date

Enjoy meeting different people:

Do not get stuck on the idea of meeting one person and they would be the right match for you. Be ready to meet a lot of people and see what you like and dislike about each of them and then choose your partner. Enjoy dating, it can be nerve wrecking at first but as you get used to it you will find a very wide variety of interesting people to connect with.

So if you are a single divorcee in Gauteng call your matchmaker now to make an appointment Benefit by contacting a matchmaker in Guaten now

Matchmaker myths

Busting a few Matchmaker myths:

Matchmaking is for the rich an beautiful only:

The truth is many  matchmaking agencies allow only a certain type of client to join .i.e the Rich, Beautiful, Educated and well traveled . However if you are the aforementioned, why would you need my services, potential partners would be cuing in front of your door?My clients are everyday people. Each single man or woman is unique and comes with his or her own set of circumstances. You might not be a rich executive but an artist. This is great as some of my clients are not interested in meeting Executive and the job of a matchmaker is to find out which each client has to offer to a partner and match them up with the partner who requires those attributes. I believe everyone deserves love and I will design a program which will work within each person’s specific set of circumstances, both emotional and financial. Programs are designed to help each person find their dream without tapping into their grocery money.

Matchmakers are for losers:

The age-old stigma of hiring a matchmaker makes you a member of the desperate hearts and lonely souls club is long past. In fact, hiring a matchmaker is the “in” thing to do. Hey you are using professionals for your taxes and car repairs, why should your personal life be different? Matchmakers find out all the important things before you even meet the person. For example if you do not want kids, you typically do not want someone who wants a whole rugby team of little ones., but typically you would only find that out around the third date or so. So you already wasted a lot of time with something that will never become a serious relationship. Also matchmakers screen out the people with too much baggage.  

Matchmakers is expensive and I can go on line for free:

Of course you can go on line to one of those “free” sites, but the truth is, they are really not free. Think about all the time you have to invest into the free site, first by creating your charismatic profile, then weeding through thousands of profiles looking for a match, then messaging back and forth, and, you are lucky, you might even make it to a date. I know that I value my time and time is money. Also consider money you waste on disappointing and pointless encounters or the “girl” in Russia who needs you to send $1000 so she can leave her country to be with you! Point is, you get what you pay for.

Only women pay to hire a matchmaker: 

This may be the case for some services, but it is clearly the exception, not the rule. The way I see it is that both men and women pay for the service because by paying a fee you are showing a definite level of sincerity and desire to make the matching process work. You are making both a financial and an emotional commitment.

If I hire a matchmaker everyone in town will know:

 One of our top priorities as a matchmaker is to protect the confidentiality of our clients. You can expect the same type of confidentiality you would receive under the doctor/patient, lawyer/client relationship. We are here to protect and help you and not to humiliate you. We will never ever sell your information to a list company however on line services do that all the time.

So then who does hire a matchmaker?, 

• Singles who are busy with their careers and/or family hire a matchmaker. 
•  People who don’t want to waste their time browsing through thousands of profiles online only to come out frustrated and dateless, hire a matchmaker. 
• People who don’t want to waste their time meeting the wrong people hire a matchmaker. People who are serious and sincere about finding someone special to share their life with hire a matchmaker.

When you need your taxes done, you hire an accountant. When you are sick, you go to a doctor. When you have a legal problem, you hire a lawyer. When you are tired of being alone, tired of wasting your time dating the wrong people and when you are ready to be proactive, YOU hire a matchmaker because that is what intelligent people do. So before you say you are not interested in hiring a matchmaker, be sure you have all the facts before making that decision.

If you are in the Gauteng area the professional ladies from  Click Dating Agency will assist you with more information.

Using a matchmaker - is it desperate?

Executive dating in South Africa:

In today's fast-paced life, we engage experts to help us be the best we can in all areas. We hire accountants to complete our tax forms, real estate agents to find a home, and personal trainers to keep our bodies in shape. Yet we tend to feel reluctant about seeking professional help when it comes to life's most complicated and pleasurable aspect our love life. The mainstream success of online dating has opened the door to using a third party to find love and skyrocketed the popularity of modern-day, one-on-one, personalized matchmaking services.

Now, more than ever before, is it acceptable to use a matchmaker.

Although there are several different matchmaking agencies operating in South Africa they are all unique. As with any other type of Industry every Agency's modus operandi differs and therefore it is important that you choose the company you feel most comfortable with.

1. Choose an agency offering flexibility in their packages. An agency allowing you to do a "test-run" of their services at a reduced price will most probably make a greater effort in satisfying your requirements than an agency ridged in their pricing. Like with any other business negotiate the price.
2. Be sure of what they offer. Some agencies offer membership until you find a match and claim to match you until they find your perfect match. The consequence of this is you might get 1 introduction every 6 months to a year. Check with them how far the introductions will be spaced out.
3. They might send you on endless mismatches before you find one remotely matching your criteria. Rather choose a dating agency offering limited introductions but exclusively to people who match your exact criteria.
4. Like your match-maker. If you feel comfortable with them you would also feel more comfortable with discussing requirements and problems with them.
5. Some agencies give you a list of numbers to arrange dates with. This is unsafe practice for everyone. Rather choose an agency who does not divulge any personal information and arranges the dates at Public Places

Do not hesitate to discuss concerns with your matchmaker when choosing an agency and also allow them to explain their process in deciding the matches they introduce you to.

Well what are you waiting for? Find your matchmaker now !Using a matchmaker - is it desperate?