Blind dates can be nerve-wracking you do not know anything about the person, how they will react towards you, what to say what to do!!!!!
You have taken the step towards finding your match by approaching a matchmaker. Bear in mind that they have already selected a date that will have some interests in common with you.
Here are a few tips for Matchmaking clients to consider:
1. The first glance
1. The first glance
First impressions are important as we generally form an impression of a person within just minutes of meeting them. Blind dates are no different. Your first impressions sets the stage for the entire date, so be sure to prepare in advance! Do not start dressing for your blind date 30 minutes before you leave home you will end up with a pile of unsuitable clothes. Decide beforehand what to wear, try it on and stick to your choice!
When it comes to appearances, select clothing that is appropriate for your date. Never wear faded jeans or “plakkies” to a dinner date. The dress code is smart casual even if you are just having drinks. In the case of men a nice jean is allowable but with a long sleeved shirt button up. No T-shirts. For ladies Do not wear clothes that are too revealing (Although a little cleavage never hurt anybody), strange, or over the top. But also dress in your own style. It reflects your personality and will give the person an overview of who you are.
When it comes to appearances, select clothing that is appropriate for your date. Never wear faded jeans or “plakkies” to a dinner date. The dress code is smart casual even if you are just having drinks. In the case of men a nice jean is allowable but with a long sleeved shirt button up. No T-shirts. For ladies Do not wear clothes that are too revealing (Although a little cleavage never hurt anybody), strange, or over the top. But also dress in your own style. It reflects your personality and will give the person an overview of who you are.
Get a fresh haircut or trim so that you look neat and well put together. You should also trim your nails (manicures and/or pedicures are always nice), shine your shoes, and/or iron your clothes, if needed. While this may be obvious, make sure that you shower, shave, and smell good. While a bit of cologne or perfume can be sexy, do not overdo it. Remember, you only have once chance at a first impression, so make it a good one!
Be Flexible
Your matchmaker arranged for a place to meet but you are free to take initiative an suggest you move to another place for the dinner if the restaurant becomes too noisy etc,
Play it by ear, if you enjoy your dates company and want to prolong the date suggest getting desert. If there is no connection do not feel bad to say “Do you mind if we get the bill?” When using a matchmaker, part of the game is that everyone knows that with some people there might just not be a connection and there is no reason to suffer through a whole meal, your date will not feel offended. On the other hand it is a good idea to wait it out just a bit longer so that both parties relax before you decide to end the date.
Be Flexible
Your matchmaker arranged for a place to meet but you are free to take initiative an suggest you move to another place for the dinner if the restaurant becomes too noisy etc,
Play it by ear, if you enjoy your dates company and want to prolong the date suggest getting desert. If there is no connection do not feel bad to say “Do you mind if we get the bill?” When using a matchmaker, part of the game is that everyone knows that with some people there might just not be a connection and there is no reason to suffer through a whole meal, your date will not feel offended. On the other hand it is a good idea to wait it out just a bit longer so that both parties relax before you decide to end the date.
Who Pays
This is up to both parties, most women feel that the man should pay for the first date, however she is free to offer to pay her share, it is up to the man if he accepts or not.
2. The First Meeting.
Arrive a little early and offer a polite greeting and handshake when he/she arrives. Smile and be friendly, even if you are nervous. Men, be a gentleman and open doors, pull out her chair, etc. Women, be polite and thank him if he does these things for you.
Arrive a little early and offer a polite greeting and handshake when he/she arrives. Smile and be friendly, even if you are nervous. Men, be a gentleman and open doors, pull out her chair, etc. Women, be polite and thank him if he does these things for you.
3. Be Open Minded.
Remember that this is a blind date. If you set your expectations too high, you will surely be disappointed. Do not make an assumption about your date when you first see them. Some people might not be drop dead gorgeous at first sight but might have all the criteria you are looking for. So give them time to relax and display their real personalities. Secretly, we may all want good looking, highly intellectual, slapstick funny dates with an abundance of cash. That's not reality though. Stay open minded and free of high expectations for your date. This will allow you to relax and have a good time rather than setting yourself up for disappointment should the date not go well.
Remember that this is a blind date. If you set your expectations too high, you will surely be disappointed. Do not make an assumption about your date when you first see them. Some people might not be drop dead gorgeous at first sight but might have all the criteria you are looking for. So give them time to relax and display their real personalities. Secretly, we may all want good looking, highly intellectual, slapstick funny dates with an abundance of cash. That's not reality though. Stay open minded and free of high expectations for your date. This will allow you to relax and have a good time rather than setting yourself up for disappointment should the date not go well.
4. Be Yourself.
It's easier said than done, but relax, relax, relax. One of the biggest mistakes that people make on blind dates is trying to be someone that they aren't. Just be yourself. Do not feel pressure to wear heels if you normally wear sandals. During the date, answer questions honestly and talk candidly about yourself without exaggerating. Remember, your date wants to know who you are; not who you your date wants you to be. Your matchmaker has chosen somebody compatible with you already so if you act different you will not match anymore
It's easier said than done, but relax, relax, relax. One of the biggest mistakes that people make on blind dates is trying to be someone that they aren't. Just be yourself. Do not feel pressure to wear heels if you normally wear sandals. During the date, answer questions honestly and talk candidly about yourself without exaggerating. Remember, your date wants to know who you are; not who you your date wants you to be. Your matchmaker has chosen somebody compatible with you already so if you act different you will not match anymore
5. Making Conversation.
Conversation is extremely important to the success of a blind date. Getting it started and keeping it going is essential. Think of a few general, light topics to bring up in the beginning. Ask about their family or his friends. Keep the conversation light, but really try to get to know them.
Do:
Conversation is extremely important to the success of a blind date. Getting it started and keeping it going is essential. Think of a few general, light topics to bring up in the beginning. Ask about their family or his friends. Keep the conversation light, but really try to get to know them.
Do:
· Ask about them (work , do they enjoy their job, would they do anything else if they could, are they creative etc etc).
· Ask about family and friends (siblings are always a good subject to get a conversation flowing).
· Compliment your date on a piece of jewelry or watch or anything that in itself is sometimes a good conversation point. You could ask something like “That is a beautiful bracelet, is it sentimental to you?”
· Ask about his or her interests and hobbies.
· Discuss music, film, food, and art. Start of by saying something like “I watched the movie Armagedon again last week, what a classic! Did you like it? Then engage further by saying that’s interesting so what is your all time favorite”
· Talk about yourself (but not the entire time!) but do not direct the conversation away from you the whole time. If they ask answer them as honestly as you can.
· Show an interest in what he or she is saying.
· Stimulate the conversation with open-ended questions.
Do Not:
· Discuss past relationships
· Talk in depth about topics that don't interest the other person if you like computer games and they don’t end the conversation as soon as you see that you are on one topic for a long time and they are not responding.
· Speak badly about others.
· Say anything stupid, mean, or inconsiderate.
· Monopolize the conversation.
· Cross-examine your date.
· Ask close-ended questions that require only a 'yes' or 'no' answer.
Body Language
Also remember that first impressions are not just based on appearance, but on the way you communicate with your words, tone of voice, and body language as well. In fact, body language is actually the most important when it comes to communication. Don't focus on your body language so much that it feels forced because it will come across that way to your date as well. Relax and react appropriately. Keep your eyes on your date, not on yourself or others around you. If you're having a good time, give your date signs that you're enjoying their company.
7. Things to Watch.
While you should never go into a blind date with bad expectations, you should keep an eye out for a few 'warning signs'.
While you should never go into a blind date with bad expectations, you should keep an eye out for a few 'warning signs'.
· He or she talks about past relationships throughout the date.
· He speaks badly about his mother or ex-girlfriends.
· He doesn't offer to pay (unless it was agreed to go dutch).
· He or she is rude to you directly
· He or she treats the waiters rudely or doesn't tip.
· He or she drinks a lot (Meaning a bottle, if they have 2-3 drinks it might just be to calm their nerves).
· He or she does not pay attention to you (i.e. they answer cell phone calls during the date, etc).
8. Exit Strategy.
Blind dates set up by a matchmaker are different from normal blind dates. Everyone is briefed by the matchmaker, that there is no harm done in exiting a date when you feel there is no connection. Have drinks and give the date some time to relax and chat. When the waiter comes to the table and wants to take your order be assertive and say to them that you will first have drinks and decide at a later stage if you want to stay for a meal. That will make it easier for both parties.
9. Ending the Date.
Saying goodbye at the end of a blind date has the potential to be very awkward. When the date is over, do what feels right. No matter what, you should remember to thank the other person. If your date went well, be sure to let them know that and mention that you'd really like to see them again. If it didn't go well, then you should not suggest or agree to meet again, nor should you give your phone number or say you'll call them. This can string him/her along and create creates false hopes and impressions. It's generally better to be honest and upfront, but do it politely. If you don't want to see them again, say something like "I don't think we have a lot in common." Always be kind and make every effort to spare his or her feelings.
Blind dates do not differ much from other first dates. With these tips from your matchmaker, your blind date will hopefully turn into a second date!
Saying goodbye at the end of a blind date has the potential to be very awkward. When the date is over, do what feels right. No matter what, you should remember to thank the other person. If your date went well, be sure to let them know that and mention that you'd really like to see them again. If it didn't go well, then you should not suggest or agree to meet again, nor should you give your phone number or say you'll call them. This can string him/her along and create creates false hopes and impressions. It's generally better to be honest and upfront, but do it politely. If you don't want to see them again, say something like "I don't think we have a lot in common." Always be kind and make every effort to spare his or her feelings.
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